True Legacy

My mother passed away last month. I don’t like to say died. The word sounds final—just an "I" and "E" between two bookend consonants. Passing away evokes motion and a smile and another destination. It seems to me that if you live life with gusto and laughter with a touch of naughtiness, as she did, there is nothing final about this phase of the arc of life. Yes, bit by bit your possessions that you loved and thought were so valuable will be pulled from your home and discarded, evaluated, gifted, or sold. And for those left behind it is a kind of slow motion unraveling (or fast, if you are not as lucky as I am, to have the luxury of taking some time to process the "things" of life) of the fabric of daily life. But the more time I spend watching and participating in this process, the more I am reminded that at the end of any life, the only thing really remaining is the relationships we forge during our time here.

My mother’s children and grandchildren all called her the last week of her life, as did her dear friends and neighbors. And I had the great privilege of hearing in their voices the living sound of love and true legacy. "Grandma, I remember the time you helped me not be afraid of water and for the rest of my life I have loved to swim." "Grandma, I remember all the times you took me aside and listened to my problems like I was the most important thing in your life." "Mama, I remember when you came to help out when our little girl was born, and had to sleep on the floor because our house was so small. But you said it was just fine, you liked sleeping on the floor." "Grandma, I remember how you always made up crazy word games to help us learn new words." "Margie, these last few years of friendship with you have been the happiest of my life."

And on and on. Each one had something different to say. Each highlighted a legacy of love – a way that her example had helped them see love in action.

I will miss my mother, I already do. But the sadness gives way to a smile easily as I think of her life of giving, of laughing, of loving. I pray one day I will be remembered and loved and she is.